We
are Terri and Brooke, the publishers of Weddings Unveiled Magazine. We hope
that you will allow us the opportunity to address an important issue that has
angered and disappointed many people. We are incredibly sad that same sex
marriage is still an issue in our society. When we were faced with the decision
of whether or not to publish Anne Almasy's advertisement, we acted in a manner
that does not reflect our personal beliefs. We truly believe that all love is
beautiful and that all people have the right to marry. You might ask that if we
feel that way, then why did we make this decision? Honestly, we knew that
everyone would not share our belief that all people have the right to marry.
The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided. We knew that it was
possible that people would be offended if we published the ad and we knew that
it was possible that people would be offended if we did not. We are so sorry
that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. We had never been faced with such a decision
and we should have acted with our hearts.
We
are two women who operate a small business that we care deeply about. We love
all weddings. We love all people and would never want to anger, offend or
disappoint anyone. We are deeply moved by the outpouring of love and support
for Anne. We are so sorry that we have disappointed you and we ask for your
forgiveness. If Anne would still like to run her ad in Weddings Unveiled, then
we would be proud to publish it.
Sincerely,
Terri and Brooke
Personally I would really like to see the ad published so that people can see Anne's great photography and may book her for their wedding - whatever wedding that may be.
ReplyDeleteI believe a business has the right to pick and choose it's clients...but it can not do so if it tramples on the rights of others. We all know magazines (for sure wedding magazines as in this case) when it comes to taking money for ad space they can't grab the cash fast enough. I 100% agree that they rejected this image because of the same sex couple and the magazine not wanting to have anything to do with that debate in the US. I don't know if rejecting it is against American laws or not, but it certainly goes against moral and ethical codes of any reasonable human being. Whatever you think (good or bad) of former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau all Canadians must thank him for giving Canada the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. That document protects the rights of all Canadian citizens - period. I knew this story would get a lot of reposts and a lot of attention and justly it should. What the magazine did was bigoted and wrong. HOWEVER.... before we paint this photographer as being a hero for standing up against the magazine, i wanted the general public to realize what a horrible photograph we are talking about to begin with. Most photographers I know would never have considered using that photograph for anything as it's just both technically and artistically bad. This image was chosen not for any technical or artist merit, but only because of shock value. I severely doubt this is one of her better images she has ever taken...it can't be or she wouldn't still be in business no matter how little she charges. It was a win-win situation for the photographer, she gets a shock value image as part of her ad in the magazine and people stop and take notice. Anything that gets people lingering and looking at your ad longer is a good thing. If they reject it (as they did) she gets to scream racism against homosexuals at the top of her lungs! Yes what the magazine did was wrong. But give zero credit to the photographer as the photograph is just plain bad and I believe the image was chosen in the first place for only it's shock value to begin with and now the photographer is just taking advantage of the situation. If the photograph had even just average I'd give her a pass on this...but no photographer uses a photograph that bad for PR without a reason. Dennis Reggie got extra famous for his joe average photograph of Kennedy and his new wife coming out of the country church. There was flash on camera shadows behind the couple on the outside of the church. If it's wasn't JFK's son in the photograph nobody would have given that barely average photograph a second thought. Dennis Reggie took advantage of the subject matter for PR purposes...the same as this woman is doing now. Just please remember that before you give her any kudos for "fighting homophobia".
DeleteI personally liked the photo, technically speaking. You didn't say anything in particular you didn't like about the photo... sharpness, focus, color, tone? You just seemed quick to label it as "shock value."
DeleteThe photo was better technically and showed more love than most of the cheesy images I saw in my search for a photographer for my wedding. It could have been a man standing there instead of the woman and still showed the same love. If I saw this in a magazine, it would have spurred me to look more at her portfolio.
Bruce doesn't point out anything about the photo that would deem it inferior. Nothing about the composition, nothing about the shooter's technical skills, nothing about the artistry of the shot are specifically mentioned as examples why it was "inferior" for an ad. As an event planner who has done over 100 weddings and has reviewed many wedding photographers' works, I see nothing inferior about that shot at all. It's well composed, well presented, and technically sound - everything a couple would want from their photographer.
DeleteThe only thing Bruce says is that it has "shock value." There is nothing shocking about two adults who love each other. If an image of two women in love and marrying is a "shock," then I would recommend that Bruce avoid marrying a man. Problem solved.
Bruce Allen Hendricks MPA, F.Ph., I agree with you.
DeleteI commend you for your apology, it's rough, and being faced with something that's so divided can leave anybody completely in the dark. I'm sure Anne will understand. I love your magazine and think you're amazing and brave! Jessica Magee Studios
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if you truly are apologizing or if you've been bullied into it. You should have stuck with your beliefs.
ReplyDeleteYou mean, like hotels and restaurants should have stuck by their beliefs to not allow black people into their places of business?
DeleteAnonymous, it appears their beliefs were in line with Anne's. They were just fearful of people like... well, like you. But no matter, since people like you are in an ever-diminishing minority. Simply put, it is better business to be inclusive.
DeleteI'd also like to point out that a public outcry over an injustice is NOT the same as "bullying." This is how communities respond to people who behave inappropriately - they share their disappointment widely, and decline to support the offending business. It's also known as "voting with our wallets."
Being black and being gay are not the same. I wish people would make their arguments about gay rights without making a nonexistent correlation to slavery and segregation.
DeleteAnonymous, if Coretta Scott King and many other prominent civil rights activists have felt the comparison was appropriate, who are YOU to disagree?
Delete“Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood.” Coretta Scott King
http://www.glaad.org/blog/civil-rights-leaders-speak-out-support-obamas-stance-marriage
http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2006/02/07/coretta-scott-king-on-gay-righ/
How do you not see the parallels between the fight for civil rights for blacks and the fight for civil rights for gays? No one chose to be "born black" any more than anyone chose to be "born gay", and no, being gay is NOT a choice. People are discriminated against every day because of their sexual orientation just as blacks were discriminated against for their skin color. You are correct, it has little to do with slavery, or perhaps even with segregation, though I wonder how you would feel if all gays were educated in third-rate schools, or only allowed to use certain facilities in stores, etc. But when 1400 Federal laws bestow special rights and privileges on straight civil marriages, then it certainly is correlated to the civil rights struggles of African Americans.
DeleteGiven that science has shown us the genetic basis of homosexuality (not just in humans, but many other species as well), you are right. Black is just a skin color, but homosexuality is far more fundamental.
DeleteThe first black president sees blacks, women, and gays as part of the same struggle for civil rights.
DeleteI'll take his word for it.
Some feel that gays are undeserving of civil protections because they see it as a choice. I see this argument a lot: "You can't equate being black with being gay, so gays don't deserve the same protction."
DeleteLet's put aside for a moment that being gay simply isn't a choice. Let's also put aside the words of Coretta Scott King, just for a moment.
Race, gender, age, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, religion, and military status are all protected classes under federal law. Military status and religion are both CHOICES. Even if it were true that sexual orientation were a choice, that wouldn't negate it as a protected class any more than choosing to be Christian or Muslim or FSM would negate someone from religious discrimination.
To continue to make the argument that gays don't deserve anti-discriminatory protection because some (incorrectly) think it's a choice is simply flawed from the outset. Do those same people feel that being fired or refused normal benefits for being Jewish or Baptist is fine too? I bet not.
it is most vague apologize what you can write. You did this just because photographers pressure and almost viral publicity of this case. You can not be honest even in your own post.
ReplyDeleteInta, this is pretty dumb.. how more apologetic could they be?
DeleteInta, perhaps if you spoke English you could see that this was a sincere, heartfelt apology
DeleteThe question is then, if you were undoubtedly going to offend one set of people, why try not to offend those whose views you do not agree with?
ReplyDeleteIf you truly believe in same-sex marriage, you would be helping our society abolish these issues.
You're still trying to 'cater for everyone' by saying you believe one thing, but acting another way.
Please choose your side and stick to it. I would love to see Anne's advertisement in your magazine - and hopefully she will not have to pay for it to be publicized.
Yes, and if you're going to offend someone, why not the bigots? I assume you thought word wouldn't get out, and only the photographer would be hurt by it. But we're all hurt when you give in to bigots.
DeleteThe big elephant in the room is simple economics. The reason any small business would be careful and make a decision like this would be an evaluation of the economic fallout. I can defending the choice in anyway, but this could be a reason.
Deletei don't believe in marriage - it's a bad contract and anytime a dress worn one time cost more than the booze for 100 people something is horribly wrong...but in this country everyone is treated equally ..and it should be the wedding industry that steps to the plate to demand equal access for all their clients...
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am impressed by this gracious response. I hope you will get a lot of positive feedback and business as a result of this decision!
ReplyDelete...and if you do publish the photo, I will be sure to buy a copy of your magazine--despite the fact I've been married 24 years, and I have no plans for another wedding! But you deserve a lot of credit for such a heartfelt apology. It is never too late to do the right thing. Thank you! Nancy
ReplyDeleteA little late to try to save face and your income stream, the deed is done!
ReplyDeleteHaving arrived at a crossroads, you made the right choice to accept this marketing strategy. Don't be afraid of it!
ReplyDeleteIt's a correct decision to not allow same-sex themed photos published. No apology is needed!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!
discrimination is good work? Nice.
DeleteOne day, I believe we can look forward to the world being free of bigots like you. I can't wait for that day.
DeleteIf you are so comfortable with the decision not to publish the photo and that same sex marriage is wrong why are you afraid to pussy your name. My name is Doug Parker, and i support marriage equality.
DeleteI had the same thought, Doug Parker! My name is Patty Harbison, and I am a heterosexual old married lady who supports marriage equality. No one who belongs to a church that feels differently has any obligation to participate.
DeleteThank god you are a dwindling minority, Anonymous. My name is Lea Wesbrook and I also support equality.
DeleteDon't the advertisers pay your bills? If you continue being openly bigoted, you aren't going to have anyone who wants to advertise in your publication. The word is out about this entire situation in the wedding photography industry, and you have angered many, many people.
ReplyDeleteJenni is correct...you had to decide who to offend, those who don't believe in same sex marriage, or those who do. You chose to offend those who do, which also goes against your stated beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI truly hope your apology is sincere, and perhaps this is an opportunity to turn this into something positive by actually highlighting and featuring same sex weddings in your publication.
I understand the fear of losing business, catering to those who will ultimately spend their dollars with you. But I think you underestimate your readers.
What that portion of their apology means is that they chose based on $$$. They believe they will suffer financially if they offend the haters.
DeleteIt would be preferable if people found ways to grow their business in ways they also found ethical rather than just do the easy thing and keep cashing in using the status quo.
Overall, their support means nothing. Their instinct is to side with those in power, those with the money, those who hate. It is only when it became clear that they will also be severely harmed by this decision did the right and wrong of the situation matter to them.
IOW, their "support" of gays is meaningless.
Really? "Yes, please, even though we offended and disappointed you we would still like your money to run this ad because of the public outcry." No. You should run the ad for free because you screwed up, because you owe her that much respect. If Anne has any decency, she will not decide to run her ad in your magazine.
ReplyDeleteYou made a poor decision. You apologized. Now do something to actually fix the situation. Your blog doesn't show that you are really sorry, so figure out how to appropriately show it. Again, I think that you should run her ad for free. You should post it to your blog. Show the country, and the world, that Southerners aren't stereotypical biggots. Make it right.
Erin, sometimes it's best to win with graciousness. Allow people to grow, to set aside fear.
DeleteIf we punish those who offend us and then punish them again when they apologize, we actually work against our interests. We punish positive change.
Let's not do that.
I don't think that some commenters read your apology. Thank you for changing your mind and offering to print the picture. I hope you don't charge Anne.
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to amaze me that in this day and age, when someone offers up an apology the whippings and the brow beatings just keep on coming.
ReplyDeleteChange is to slow sometimes, why make it any slower with the same intolerant and unforgiving attitude?
I find this apology much too little too late. Your actions of bigotry were a true show of cowardice. If you believe in and love all weddings, then demonstrate that. It starts with weddings magazines like yours to change the norm. I would suggest, if you really truly believe in all weddings, like you say, then you need to show that, more then with just an apology. Feature a same sex wedding in your magazine. Show some backbone. Stand behind your beliefs proudly and have your business represent that.
ReplyDelete"We are so sorry that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. We had never been faced with such a decision and we should have acted with our hearts."
ReplyDeleteThis is not a vague or insincere apology, I believe that it's heartfelt and honest. These two women could've chosen to say any number of things but the words above are what's written in this apology. I think we should all give them a little more credit for coming to the right decision even if it wasn't their first decision.
You can't criticize them for making a mistake and then not forgive them when they try and do the right thing. Let that compassionate humanity you showed to the photographer shine here please.
This apology is lame. If you truly believed in marriage equality, then you would be publishing those weddings as well. You would be helping spread the word. Not everyone who believes in marriage equality needs to be a full on advocate, but you clearly picked a side.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is the side you picked in our industry is not in the majority. Not even close. I believe it is never too late to apologize, but you also have to be sincere in your apology for true reconciliation. Only time will tell.
Jennifer Jasiczek
A Regal Affair
I think you had really nothing to worry about from this highly vocal minority. You have to think about your entire business as a whole and who you want to appeal to. I hate bullies of any sort, and you've been bullied.
ReplyDeleteActually, if you look at the stats since 2010, supporters of same sex marriage has been the majority.
DeleteSupport for gay marriage is not a minority position in the US. Sorry, but history has left you behind.
DeleteI hate to break it to you, but a great (and long awaited, and necessary) shift is happening in our culture. Those of us supporting marriage equality are most certainly not the in the minority. If you would like to truly understand the meaning of bullying, I suggest you consult anyone who has been brave enough to be open about who they love. These two women are very right to apologize for their mistake, because it was the honorable thing to do, not because they were forced to due to so called bullying.
Deleteexactly! darn vocal minorities. expressing their need to basic civil rights. I'm so glad there are people like you around to let the world know how important it is to suppress basic human rights and keep those bullies as second class citizens!
DeleteSame sex couples may be in the minority but those of us who support them are not. In what way has the magazine been bullied?
Delete1. So when you speak out about an issue I suppose it's "activism", but when we do it's "bullying"? Please explain that.
Delete2. Sorry to shatter your sheltered little FOX News bubble, but support of gay marriage is absolutely not a minority position, and it's getting stronger and stronger with each passing year.
Evidence:
http://www.gallup.com/poll/159089/religion-major-factor-americans-opposed-sex-marriage.aspx
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57556481/poll-51-percent-support-same-sex-marriage/
http://www.webcitation.org/68Do37LGv
http://www.outcomebuffalo.com/nbc-wsjpoll-equality-5-22-2012-0122201.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/after-president-obamas-announcement-opposition-to-gay-marriage-hits-record-low/2012/05/22/gIQAlAYRjU_story.html
http://www.langerresearch.com/uploads/1137a2GayMarriage.pdf
That is a problem that will keep the US ... In the dark ages or at least stuck in the 17th century with that kind of thinking... This is 2013 and if some people can't handle the reality of today and the choices some people make... It is not about being gay... It is about couples in love...regardless of same sex or not.
ReplyDeletethese people are not any less than you and me, yes they have a different life style and who are we to say how anyone should live their lives or dictate what choices they can make... It about two people period making a commitment to each other period.
Your apology is very nice, but it's just words. It really should come with amends if it is to be taken seriously.
ReplyDeleteYou should offer to run the ad for free. For a year.
THEN we will know your apology was sincere.
What's so surprisingly bass ackwards to me is that the people who don't want to be bullied by their beliefs are bullying others who don't believe in gay marriage to believe in their beliefs. Double standards for minorities are ok? I don't think so. Never give to others what you've given yourself or you'll lose it all. Love, a previous weddings unveiled advertiser and someone who does not, nor ever will believe in gay marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf you are really an advertiser who wants their position known, why have you posted anonymously? And please explain to me how equal application of marriage rights is a "double standard"? Do you think all of our laws should be written based on your twisted Bible interpretations?
DeleteThank goodness bigoted dinosaurs like you are the ever-shrinking minority in this country.
I am guessing since you posted as anonymous, you are afraid to let everyone know what "product" you represent and will be withdrawing advertising from the magazine? Sounds like you are afraid the decision to hate on others will reflect poorly on you and you will lose business.
DeleteI haven't advertised in WU in 2 years because the magazine didn't reach my demographic- notice the word previous. Nor am I in the wedding industry anymore. Why do you need my name? Isn't a name just a title given to someone so that they can judge another with? I don't "hate" on others, Britt. Nice of you to preform an opinion of me. Oh. Wait. That's what YOU are fighting against. But...you're doing it too? And Molly, I mean by my statement that you took out of context (which didn't surprise me at all) that you allow people to believe in your beliefs but you don't allow people to believe in beliefs that are different than yours? That's the double standard that I speak of, dahhhhhling. You will never see me following or bashing a gay blog or a gay wedding blog. I have a brother who is gay. Bet you didn't see that coming, now did ya'? I love him with all of my heart and soul. Do we go head to head? Yes. We do. Do I hate him because of it? No I don't. I hate people like you who turn discussions into fights and make snide comments about statements that I hold and take them completely out of context. In one paragraph, young bashed me, accused me wrongly and called me defamatory names. Who's the prejudiced one? Raaaaawwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrr. Love, the T-Rex with a gay triceratops brother
DeleteMolly-
DeleteYou deduced the following from her paragraph of which she mentioned nothing to lead you to deduce the following:
1- she's from the US
2- She think there should not be separation of church and state
3- that her views are based on the Bible (thanks for capitalizing it by the way- most of you don't)
You've called her 1. Twisted. 2. Dinosaur 3. Biggot 4. Made fun of a minority?..
Thanks for proving her point. Sounds like your prejudiced to me!
Anonymous 1: The difference is that that YOUR opinion seeks to restrict the rights of your fellow human beings. Mine does not. People who wanted to prevent women from voting and maintain bans on interracial marriage made the same feeble arguments that you guys make. 'Woe is me, I'm so oppressed because I don't get to pick and choose who gets rights and who doesn't". You can believe whatever you want, but you can't expect the rest of us to base our nation's laws on it.
DeleteAnonymous 2. Your response is almost too fabricated to be comprehensible. In all the years I have been following the gay rights struggle I have never, ever heard a single opposition to gay marriage that was NOT religiously motivated. Can you direct me to any? Sometimes church groups make up crazy lies about social planning or biology, but the core motive is always the Bible.
By the way, "I have a brother who is gay. Bet you didn't see that coming, now did ya'?"... why on earth would I be blown away by that? Odds are most homophobes have at least one gay relative unless they are orphaned hermits.
DeleteDay late "Dollar Short" as a professional photographer for over 25 years, It is a shame that your pathetic attempt of an Apology, I would suggest you do nothing at all, close your whole site down ok, If you so called believe in love and marriage, It sure has made you a great livelihood, Its time to fold up. Its not about what you think or what you want in life, It is that of being a "Human Being" but in this case you have showed your true colors" It is shameful to even think that you both don't even realize that everyone is the same.Everyone deserves, love, happiness, the right to have all the items of needs. So carry on your silly post,not falling for this attempt.
ReplyDeleteI understand it can be a very hard decision. I chose not to speak out about my beliefs or political when it comes to my business. This is a very touchy decision. I am all for gay marriage, and expressed so openly in my business. But i have to respect other business opinions... it just lets me know who I will and will not work with. We have come a long way in history, not so long ago, women had no rights, people were property, all because of someone's beliefs. People's interpretation of.. anything really is our biggest mistake. We are not to judge but love.
ReplyDeleteYou are right you will offend someone either way. Be true to yourself and trust your heart. If you truly aren't against it publish it.... those you will offend will be replaced and vice versa.
Good luck to you and I commend your apology.
The main point here is that you were more than happy to side with the anti-gay side, until it became clear that there is now a cost for throwing gays under the bus to cozy up to people for money.
ReplyDeleteEven parts of the GOP are running away from their anti-SSM stance.
What exactly were you afraid of? If you are afraid of the people who hate gays, shouldn't that make you question taking their side?
I think the apology is a start. I think your real challenge is where you take your next steps. Dig deep in your own hearts and minds to find the right path. IMHO, that would be to move forward as an inclusive publication that celebrates all love. By the tone of your readers and general public commentary, myself included, you can't please everyone. I believe that those that speak in positivity of love rather than of hate or judgement, see more success. There are so many haters in the world. But as we have seen, more people celebrate love. Your choice. :)
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't sometimes make snap decisions that we later regret? Thankfully, we are human beings and can choose to do our best to make things right again. Thank you for being the best you can be! Looking forward to reading your magazine!!
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!!!!!
Carin
"We are so sorry that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. Here's the problem: it appears that you are still acting out of fear and uncertainty. The fear now is the probability of losing advertisers, readers, aw heck, the whole magazine. You should have, at least, offered Anne free advertising. That is of course if she still has any interest in doing business with you, at all. Failure to make such an offer causes me to question your contrition. Business culture dictates that a mistake is followed not only by an apology but also by the question of how to set things right. I cannot speak for Anne but as one commenter suggested, perhaps a feature story on a same-sex wedding would help ease the pain for some.
ReplyDeleteDear Terri and Brooke, Your thoughtful response brings tears to my eyes. I was so prepared to write another letter to you but you have completely disarmed me. I would really like to know when the ad appears because I would like to buy a copy for myself and I would like to encourage all of my friends to buy copies too. You both should be so proud of yourselves. You give me faith in human compassion and humanity. Thank you so much. What you have done is a very spiritual act. Thank you. May good karma follow you for eternity. May you also be strong knowing that you made a hard decision and took the road less travelled. May your lives be blessed through this.
ReplyDeletePeace,
Pam
Are they truly sorry? I'm not so sure. They were faced with a decision: publish an ad for a photographer that represented values similar to theirs and potentially lose subscribers OR refuse the ad and potentially lose advertisers and subscribers for being biggots. They have admitted that they support same-sex marriage - but they prefer the money of bigots versus people that have the same values.
ReplyDeleteAlso - I guess they don't realize their demographics very well. Their target market is the same demographic of people who support marriage equality the most! The majority of people 25-40 support same sex marriage.
Dear Terri & Brooke,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read Anne's post this morning, I was saddened, disgusted, dismayed, appalled, and truly dumbfounded.
As a mother of two young children, I try every single day to teach my children about right and wrong, acceptance and love, and how they should treat others. They are only 8 and 11, but I plan to share this article with them and discuss it with them.
My husband and I chose to raise them in the city (Chicago) and send them to public school instead of moving to the suburbs for the very specific reason of raising them in the “real world.” They do not see color. They do not see their classmates with physical and mental disabilities as “weird” or “different.”
They love their babysitters, Kimm & Jo, a lesbian couple I was fortunate enough to meet while planning their wedding and have now become part of their lives. (In fact, they have been urging Kimm to take Jo’s last name and ask them about babies ALL THE TIME. I actually think Kimm & Jo just want them to shut up already.)
I posted the link on my personal and business pages, tweeted it, and had my husband tweet it to his 30,000 followers. I was angry. So very, very angry.
And then I read your apology.
I do believe this is genuine, but as a small business owner myself, I believe that you should run your company in line with your personal beliefs, not only to be successful financially.
All of the wedding vendors I know who have spoken out in favor of gay marriage on our business pages, blogs, websites, etc. have risked losing the potential client who does not support it. We don't care. We don't want that client. We will continue to share my opinions regardless of the risk of offending someone.
Regardless of the outcome of this situation between you, Anne, your current advertisers, and your readers, one good thing has already come from this. The conversation has started and is not about to end soon.
Beth Bernstein
SQN Events
Chicago, IL
For shame. It’s always interesting and disheartening to know that so many of the publications that we follow and admire prefer to hang their hats on the principles of quantity ($$$$$) over quality. I curse the day that I ever let an ambition for financial gain trump the art of my craft and my willingness to spread the visual joy of documenting love.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you publicly apologizing, however my concern lies in the initial response. If the support of same sex marriage is something you support with your whole hearts, you would've already been printing same sex weddings in your publication. Furthermore, there would never have been a discussion to begin with, regarding the printing of Anne's ad. I feel as though those of us in the industry who support marriage equality 100%, in our hearts as a fundamental support of life equality, photograph and post these weddings on our sites and blogs despite what business it might drive away. My dear friend Jacklyn Greenberg recently had a gay wedding published in Martha Stewart Weddings, a much larger, more conservative publication. If the industry continues to act in fear, as you have described your business to do, we will never evolve as a creative collective. We, as photographers, and same sex couples, as the minority, rely on publications to open the minds of society. My only hope is that this incident will really force you to reevaluate how you honestly feel about this subject. If you truly support marriage equality, your actions will showcase this. Words do not define you, it's what you do to back them up that leaves a lasting impression.
ReplyDeleteThe apology is a nice start - but it's on your blog, which isn't even on your main website, it's on blogspot.
ReplyDeletePut it in your magazine next to the advertisement.
Kudos on your heartfelt apology. I am sure as editors, it is sometimes difficult to adjust to shifts in the industry. We applaud you for issuing this statement. Running ANY small business is extremely tough, especially in the wedding field, and we all often have to make decisions with our gut to best serve our clients. A couple years ago we ran into a similar situation as Anne with another national magazine when the photos we submitted for our ad included the most joyful bride we've ever worked with. Her wedding photos exuded happiness and delight and we felt they were the best showcase of our work that season. The magazine editors rejected the photos because the couple was "not in line with the type of bride they focus their magazine on". It broke our heart, and hers as well since her pictures were not published. That was 2011 and we have not advertised with them, or purchased their magazine since. Life is one big learning experience, and we are all human. Good for you all taking ownership of your apology and growth during this learning experience. We agree that all love is beautiful. Cheers, the team at Kim Moody Design [Virginia]
ReplyDelete2 words - too late
ReplyDelete“Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking”
ReplyDelete― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Thank you for your apology. I appreciate you are moving in the right direction. I hope that you will be able to move forward with more confidence and willingness to lead. Wouldn't we all be in a better place if everyone would be willing to make, at least, those small steps, rather than remaining entrenched, or worse, moving backward? - a 60-year-old Catholic grandma.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Anne should take her business elsewhere, where it can be appreciated for what she does so well. You two need to grow some, and not be cowards, but industry leaders and help the wedding market grow!
ReplyDeleteThis reply is the result of bad press for you. Plain and simple. Half-hearted reply. TOO LITTLE. TOO LATE.
ReplyDeleteI think that you as a company did EXACTLY what you wanted to do. You were more afraid of losing business and took that over doing the right thing. If nothing had ever been posted about the decision not to post the ad, you would not be writing this apology letter to wipe the smear off your faces.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would not give you a second chance at something that you should have done the first time around.
Maybe the next time you are faced with this type of decision, you will think about the positive BEFORE the negative....
"If a business doesn't meet the needs of it's community, that business will soon be replaced by one that will."
ReplyDeleteNot my words, but something I read once which really struck home as a small business owner myself, and fits well here.
Dear Terri and Brooke,
ReplyDeleteWhilst I am still upset by your initial decision, I applaud your public apology. However, the hurt and upset you wished to avoid has already happened, and I would urge you to pledge for the future to act in line with your personal beliefs. Use this as a springboard to make change. If publications such as yours stay stuck in fear of offending people, then nothing will change. Some people need to be brave and break the mould. Perhaps those people could be you? Credit your readers with some intelligence, please.
I am a business owner in the wedding industry in the UK (I own a bridal salon). I am sickened by the lack of initiative that the wedding media takes, not just on this issue but on many others. They do not realise that they have the power to reach couples planning weddings in a way that many others in this industry cannot, or at any rate if they do realise it, then they do not choose to use that power for good. If you truly believe in equality for same-sex marriage, then perhaps the time is right to break the mould, and get over the fear of being different. I suspect that others may follow suit, but are currently too afraid to be the first to do it.
I have no doubt that there will be a backlash of sorts for you. I also suspect that you can generate some great positive publicity for yourselves too, if you handle this right. But do you really believe that the people who will object are in the majority? Do you really believe that the overall publicity that will be gained will work to your detriment? And do you really want your publication to be stuck in the dark ages and be so reluctant to be in line with your personal beliefs?
I sincerely hope that you will be prepared to offer Anne some free advertising. In all honesty, if I were her, I am not sure that I would still wish to advertise in your magazine. But I am not her, and I hope that something very positive can come out of this situation for all involved.
Liz (UK)
Style Me Pretty posted a same sex wedding of two men that I photographed in September. They are at the top of this wedding industry, and if they show same sex weddings, I'm not sure why your publication can't.
ReplyDeleteStyle Me Pretty is an entirely different company with different owners and philosophies. Everyone is not required to operate the exact same way as Style Me Pretty.
DeleteFlip flopping damage control? Bah!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should publish gay stuff. It's not the way God made people to be. Since you will I won't be buying the magazine anymore and a lot of others feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteGod made everyone in His own image, gay, straight, all of us. I continue to shake my head at the Bible quoters who only want to use the hateful stuff the Bible is full of to put down others and to justify completely incorrect statements.
DeleteI don't think you should publish straight stuff. My hamster adamantly does not like it. When hamsters created the world they clearly did not intend for things to be like this. I won't be buying the magazine anymore and A LOT of others feel the same way.
DeleteNo-one cares.
DeleteWhat I find interesting is that no one has mentioned that the photo in question was clearly chosen in a purposeful attempt to be provocative! I absolutely believe that there was a lot of thought put into this particular photo for the ad, not because it was a brilliant piece of art, but because either way it would be good for the photographer's business. If the ad were run in a magazine that never showcased a same sex couple in ad, then boy wouldn't it attract a lot of business from same sex couples and/or supporters of the LGBTQIA community? If the ad was not chosen to run, then shame on WU and I'll blog about it to the world and secure even more new business from new supporters of my work and courage. This was clear agenda pushing and it should be called out.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, it was completely unprofessional of the photographer to share quotes from a private email on her blog. Frankly, if I were a bride, I would be afraid to hire this individual because I'd be unsure as to whether or not she would keep my comments and/or innermost thoughts private.
Every business owner has the right to operate their company either from the heart or with their minds. Small businesses make our country go round. If we start attacking every single decision small business owners make simply because we aren't in agreement with it, we'll all be worse off!
Jon'ette Jordan
J Squared Events: Planning + Design
California
I do believe you missed the entire point. Had the magazine simply said, "We don't like the artistic value of the image", that would be one thing. To say, "We believe in gay marriage, but not in OUR magazine", is quite another, especially in this day and time.
DeleteI believe that "no one mentioned that the photo in question was clearly chosen in a purposeful attempt to be provocative!", because that is simply not clear. The photographer clearly stated why that image was selected, so arguing the point is, well, pointless.
If you believe that your emails are private, you live in a dream world. Your "private" responses to business clients are everything but. Be careful how you respond!
This incident ended very well for both business owners. Kudos to Weddings Unveiled and to AnneAlmasy Photography!
Actually, I did not miss the point. The bottom line is that WU had a formula that was clearly working for them (as do many companies) and although they have certain personal beliefs, they chose not to change a business format that was serving them well. There's no shame in that IMO. That is also not an indication of them being bad people. It's business.
DeleteSo, we can take the photographer at face value, but not the editors of WU? I'm just trying not to miss the point.
What I said was that it was unprofessional to share quotes from private emails, not that it never happens. I'm actually being very honest about my POV, Tom; there's no need to put words in my mouth.
You're using 'formula' as a euphemism for 'policy of excluding same-sex couples out of fear of backlash from bigots'.
DeleteHow sad that discriminating against same sex marriage is a business format....
DeleteIn 1963, Norman Rockwell ended his relationship with the Saturday Evening Post because they demanded that African Americans in his famous cover paintings should never be depicted as anything other than subservient towards whites. No doubt you side with the post on this issue.
DeleteBy the way, it's in no way unprofessional for a customer to publish emails from a business. Customers have to obligation to respect a company's privacy, and businesses have no right to expect this from customers.
DeleteAdrian, Anne was not a customer in this instance. She was a company attempting to do business with another company. Although I realize email communications are not private these days, it is still my belief that it was unprofessional to quote portions of those emails publicly. That's the beauty of opinions. I am under no obligation to change mine simply because the majority of people here side with Anne.
DeleteBritt, that's actually not what I said; those were your words. There are certain, very popular wedding blogs that only showcase a certain type of wedding and couple, yet no one accuses them of being bigots or discriminatory. In fact, people practically sell their souls to get their work featured on many of these blogs. Why the double standard? Why crucify WU, but glorify some of the others?
DeleteI think it took courage to admit your mistake and apologize. That comes first. Then comes the making amends. Don't be put off by the folks who are still angry, their anger will subside. Just follow your principles & do what is right & fair. Making amends might mean taking a more public stance, which will put you right in the middle of the controversy that you were seeking to avoid, but that is what happens when we are on the cusp of social change. Trust your sense of fairness, face the residual anger with acceptance, weather the new anger that will come from bigots disliking your apology & hang in there! Thanks again for trying to put things right. Many would not!
ReplyDeleteHah,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Liz- I would give her free ads.
Touchy subject, perhaps, but why wouldn't you want to be a part of the solution in moving forward for equality?
Thank you ladies for the heartfelt and lovely apology/ correction. You run a beautiful magazine and it makes me very happy to see this mistake corrected quickly and gracefully. No grudges coming from me. Obviously not an easy situation when you risk offending a percentage of your readership but I applaud you for doing the right thing and choosing to be leaders instead of helping to maintain the status quo. Congrats and thank you! xo
ReplyDeleteLook, this apology seems sincere and we all know many in this situation would never apologize or give a fake one. Anne accepted their apology full-heartedly and wants to talk with Terri and Brooke in the coming days and that's we need to do, move on together and work together for common good. Holding grudges is the wrong answer. Yes, a HUGE mistake was made, and WU made the wrong choice in allowing themselves to be intimidated by bigots. They took the cowards way out. But Terri and Brooke admitted their error. They've realized the damage they caused. They understand that what they did was wrong.
ReplyDeleteThat's the first step. The next step is to prove your sorry through action. Actions speak louder than words. An apology isn't enough and I hope WU understands that, and understands that for some it's going to take time to heal wounds. But as long as WU commits to equality then those negative feels will dissipate.
The marriage fight is a hard one. It's a battlefield. It's a struggle. We all make mistakes. The trait of a good person is one who admits their errors and grows from them.
Look, if you're going to apologize, be a little more truthful.
ReplyDeleteYou say: "Honestly, we knew that everyone would not share our belief that all people have the right to marry. The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided," when what you should have said was, "this is the south, where reflexive hate was baked into the cake before the Constitution was even signed."
The South factor is, obviously, in play here. Lets be honest. But that's what makes taking a stand more important. LGBTQ persons in the South NEED something to look to and feel some semblance of positive reinforcement. That's why correcting this mistake is way more than just an I'm sorry. It's about taking a stand for people who far too often are left out to dry.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of Anne Almasy, for her courage and activism in calling out a policy that was unjust, homophobic, and clearly beneath the sophistication Weddings Unveiled Magazine. And Kudos back to W.U. for rethinking your stance. It's never too late to embrace tolerance, kindness, and love.
ReplyDeleteLet's start with this: As a blogger, myself, I make it a policy NOT to post comments from ANONYMOUS sources. There are many sides of this, and other issues. If a person is going to voice any opinion, they should step up and show themselves.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, it's poor policy to allow ANONYMOUS comments, regardless of their opinion. I would highly recommend not approving ANONYMOUS comments, going forward. It just clouds an already complicated discussion.
Andy Ebon
http://www.TheWeddingMarketingBlog.com
Yes, people would have been offended no matter what you did. The difference is, one group of people wants another group of people not to exist, and to be treated as if they did not exist, except as portrayals of criminals, victims of hate crimes and as bad people.
ReplyDeleteYou cooperated with those who want to wield intimidation and fear to insist on the invisibility and marginalization of an entire people. It's as if you fear to "offend" people who come into your shop, spit on your counter, smoke inside, and urinate on your floor, in front of other customers. Only this is worse. You cooperated with bigots out of a desire not to offend them, or out of fear of them. But, by succumbing to fear of offending bigots, to do what the bigot says, one simply becomes their tool.
I understand you're try to run a business, but It's not as if "mutual offense" is functionally equal.
Terri and Brooke, thank you for your apology. While this incident has likely been rough on all involved, it has created positive change.
ReplyDeleteSome of the most honest and provocative images have altered the course of history, and the way people have been treated throughout the world. I am glad that this image has done the same, and also that your own personal beliefs will now be supported by the editorial policies of your magazine.
I agree that no matter what you decide, someone will be offended, but it is always better to show progress by standing up against bigotry. No matter what one's person beliefs are, we all need to agree that decent people need to be treated equally and fairly. Hope that wedding photo does make it to the ad, and glad you published this apology.
ReplyDeleteThe owners of this magazine say that their initial decision to not publish the gay wedding photo did not reflect their hearts or beliefs. I disagree. When we are faced with challenging decisions in life, our choices at such moments reveal our true selves.
ReplyDeleteThese women revealed that they will only act if they believe a majority of people approve of their actions. Their hearts are cowardly and their beliefs are up to the highest bidder.
Why on earth should she be given a free ad? Money makes everything better? I don't think so. Same thing as saying if we give all LGBT couple money it will shut them up. Way to go supporters of LGBT. Way to prove your cause.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reconsidering, and for your apology! This post made me really happy.
ReplyDeleteFolks please, How about we all accept that as Human's we are all fallible and not throw people to the wolves for a decision made in fear or haste. The ladies at this magazine made a decision for their business based on their concerns. Was it right? that is a matter of opinion, not in my book, but will be in others. The point is they then reflected on their decision and realised be it under pressure from others or from themselves that they wished they had acted differently.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much discrimination and hatred in the world that people making a mistake will happen and people changing their minds/opinions will happen. For the photographer to have never seen the issue is amazing, that she is that enlightened/accepting/aware and yes she should be commended, but so to should the ladies of the magazine. They have changed their decision based on listening to others and to their own consciences, we should be a very luck race of people if even a portion of others were to follow in their footsteps. Will they act differently in a similar situation in the future, undoubtedly we all learn from out experiences.
We should be commending them and thanking them for listening and reconsidering their decision when so many other would have cited the 'moral'/'religious'/other reasons that are given every day by others.
To expect everyone in the world to be perfect and pro-diversity is unrealistic, I for one think that if people are willing to re-think decisions then that is something truly amazing. I don't want to undermine the utter brilliance of the photographer in this, she is wonderful in my book, but of the two side involved here, who is the biggest contributor to a world where people are celebrated for who they are, the one already doing it or the ones who have now realised they want to?
I agree. It's so incredibly rare for people to publicly reconsider or apologize for anything. I feel that any attempt to discuss a matter calmly, even in the midst of dissention, should be applauded. Everyone feels like they need to sound like a screaming, self-righteous pundit these days. It's annoying.
DeleteReally turning over a new leaf? Prove it.
ReplyDeleteRefund Anne's money, run the ad AND invite her to do an exclusive cover shoot and multi-page article celebrating Wedding Unveiled's new commitment to celebrating same-sex marriage in every issue.
So you're saying to pay her off and she (and you) will shut up? Don't give in WU. Don't even give in. Bullies used to only be straight. Now they're equal opportunity LGBT too.
DeleteI am so glad you changed your minds! Gay or straight it doesn't matter love is love and marriage is an occasion to celebrate that love. I'm not getting married for a few years yet, but I'll be buying this magazine when that ad runs to show my support!
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed at your response to this whole situation! I was initially very disappointed and shared Anne's Facebook post, but after this update, I'm thrilled to see that you stood by your personal beliefs and had the courage to admit that your first reaction may have been wrong. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how many people are just attacking you, trying to turn this into a huge 'turn you into the bad guy' debate. Yes, you shouldn't have turned her down - it is a fabulous photo. People saying its not a good apology or too little too late though? - you're allowed to make a wrong judgement and then turn that around. Its how everything goes from now. Anne is quite obviously glad that you did come around and that you did apologize.
ReplyDeleteKaty
Run it. Free. With her letter and yours. Then say nothing else and move on.
ReplyDeleteThis is a decent, honest and commendable response. You made a mistake when confronted with a new and unfamiliar situation and, like many of us might do in any number of situations, you put fear ahead of your innate sense of what was right. That's a human mistake. It's what comes after that matters and I think you have shown your readers that you are good people. I think even those who oppose equal marriage will appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteWell no wonder. From what I can tell, Unveiled LLC is located in the great anti gay state of Michigan.
ReplyDeleteBefore I say more, thanks for revisiting your decision.
From the blog apology:
"we knew that everyone would not share our belief that all people have the right to marry."
So the two business owners thought they were helping "equality" by taking the safe route.
"The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided"
Yeah, especially sensitive if you are LGBT and used to people referring to your very existence as "sensitive" and that
fact that you exist is divisive. Really?
"We knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we published the ad and we knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we did not."
Yep, by trying to "avoid" and controversy or offending you managed to do both.
"we acted out of fear and uncertainty"
Yah think? Again, thanks for reconsidering. LGBT kids who still don't think they can grow up and find love, are thanking you.
Terri and Brooke, just want you to listen somemore to what you are reported to have said: Glad you realized you don't have to be these people.
"We just don’t feel comfortable publishing an ad featuring a same-sex couple." and
“I’m not saying we won’t ever publish a same-sex wedding. It just isn’t the right time.”
Yes it is time...glad you did.
karen in kalifornia
That would be North Carolina, I believe. See? Not all of your beliefs are accurate.
DeleteNorth Carolina. Not Michigan. You've never even seen an issue have you?
DeleteMy mistake. Change that to "located in the great anti gay state of North Carolina."
Deletekaren in kalifornia
Hope you learned from your bigoted mistake, unfortunately I lean towards the side of you're not sorry you did it, you're sorry you got caught, I highly doubt you would have ever apologized to the photographer had this unfortunate event not caused such an uproar. Hopefully next time you'll remember “What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.”
ReplyDeleteGlad you finally decided to act with some integrity. Although it does make one wonder how often you cave to fear and discrimination.
ReplyDeleteLet me say this, as a photographer, my ads of STRAiGHT couples have been turned down for publications because it didn't match the magazines genre. This is nothing new to advertising. In my opinion, minus the overt theme of the photo, the technical aspects of the photo is not up to par with WU magazines photos, editorials, or ads. Technically the ad sucked. All of you who are crucifying them for their beliefs, remember that you're fighting to keep people from doing the same to you. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN WHO YOU ARE FIGHTING AGAINST. Nor, will you ever win respect for your cause by attacking others. I have friends in the industry who are gay and lesbian. I walk a very thin line between believing in the person and believing in the belief that they hold. And they do the same. This crap that the unprofessional photog did was done out of spite. I'm sure that the words that the WU ladies said stung if those were even the correct words as posted "for all the world to see" (ncluding press, etc to get her where she wanted to be), but what do you want them to do? For them to take your suggestions and support your cause would be suicide on their part. It is not their demographic. Would you die for them? I didn't think so. Unless you're ready to support your freedom for all clause that you all so freely toss about, then don't ask me to stifle my beliefs- because the last time I looked, folks still have the freedom to not believe in what you believe in. When that's taken away, just remember, so will your rights be taken away as well. And WU women, if you truly hold what you believe in your heart, and you can actually say without a doubt that this is what you God- fearingly believe, then stop all this madness and step up to give the crucifers what they want. If you don't believe in it, then hold true to what you believe because if this is where God took you with your publication, then it's His will, and you know as well as I do that you have His job to do- not your job, not their job, but His job. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteApparently, she's been turned down by other publications recently as well. I wonder if she submitted this photo to allow them too or if this is just to prove a point. Again. www.annealmasy.com/resolution
ReplyDeleteHere's a test: submit all of the photos you've taken during the last 12 months to 25 different magazines. See how many are accepted for publication.
DeleteTerri and Brooke,
ReplyDeleteEven thou you have made a public apology the damage has already been done past the point of Societal differences. I hope you have learned that when your act out of fear, in this case fear of retaliation, you will loose everything. You should always be who you are and what you believe in no matter what the cost is. Starting doing this for myself was one of the hardest journeys I have made in my life. I now have a life I can be free of fear and uncertainty. In addition, uncertainty is the spice of life. Embrace it.
Thank you for your apology. In my opinion, action is stronger then words. In this case action would benefit your business. If you would do some market research Gay and Lesbian Weddings is the fastest growing market in the United States; internationally sixteenth. The couples in the Gay and Lesbian Communities have the largest per capita disposal income of any household type in the World. In a business structure such as yours, dedicating some of your magazine to advertisers and open editorials covering this Market would only benefit you.
I leave you with: "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself." --Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1932 Inaugural Address.
--Best
~josh
Acting out of fear obviously didn't sit right with you; and it shouldn't. Thanks for having the strength to admit it. We can all learn from this.
ReplyDeleteI understand how fearful you must have been and I want to commend you on your change to run the ad. Thank you for restoring my faith in the magazine.
ReplyDeleteWe're not perfect and sometimes it takes being called out (without being assholes) to move in a new direction. I think Emerson put it quite succinctly: http://annealmasy.com/an-open-letter-to-weddings-unveiled-magazine/#comment-1449
Best of luck to you and to Anne Almasy.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI’m afraid it’s easiest to leave a comment here about how easy it is to put yourself out there in an angry world. To say how easy it is to expose your heart and your art, to alienate potential clients and vendors, to become the target of bigoted comments and stupidity.
ReplyDeleteAs a friend of Anne, I want to say: Way to go! Way to stand up and take a deep breath and lay it all down for your beliefs, even in the face of something as real and fundamental as livelihood.
Anne, makes me super proud to call her friend. And though I don't know you, you along with her, make me hopeful. I can see a road ahead of us and it’s a road I want to hunker down and travel with people like you. It’s a road I’m glad my daughter will travel, because it’s more clear and less hazardous today than it was last Wednesday even, because of you lovely ladies and the lovely Anne Almasy.
Way to go!
Good on ya for a great apology. You could have taken the "we're sorry some people were offended" route, but you didn't. This married gay dad of baby twins thinks that it's too bad people don't recognize "heartfelt" when they see it. You made what you thought was a good business decision -- it felt bad -- you fixed it and Anne's ad is running as it should have in the first place.
ReplyDeleteFor the poster who said that businesses should have the right to pick and choose their clients: well, not always, fortunately. Many states have public accomodations laws to prevent "we reserve the right to refuse service to negroes/Jews/gays, etc."
For the poster who said that the struggle for gay rights and African American civil rights are not the same: I agree; if Coretta Scott King, Barack Obama, and perhaps more importantly, gay African Americans equate them, I'll take their word, not yours. Traditionally, Jews supported civil rights struggles of other peoples because it doesn't take much of a jump to see that oppression is oppression. Why can't you see that?
To the "T-Rex with a gay triceratops brother": nice dinosaur reference. I would've loved it during my dinosaur period... which was, you know, when I was five? That's about the age-level of your "gays demand tolerance but don't give it in return" argument. See, because we're not trying to take anything from you, understand? We only want the same recognition from the government for our families that you already take for granted: the right to inherit our own home if our partner dies before us, without family members swooping in to reposess it; the right to not have our partner deported because he or she was born in another country; the right to visit our partner in the hospital; the right to have full parental rights to a child we raised from infancy, even if we're not the biological parent. None of that will make it more difficult for you to do the same however you see fit. But pardon us if we get a little testy when you try to tell us that none of those benefits apply to us. That's the "intolerance" of which you speak.
I'm anonymous for a reason. I, like many, many others, am in the closet. I live my life in a quiet way, a generally happy one, with the man of my dreams. Your assumption is that I'm a guy. Don't assume. I'm a woman, a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man. I can't tell his family because they are ultra-Christian in the not-so-good sense that they would do God only knows what if they find out. I honestly don't know and honestly don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteI understand the pressure of staying quiet, not rocking the boat, not causing undue troubles for anyone. It's not a matter of letting the bigots win. It's about not picking battles where I'm not going to win. I do not believe in Pyrrhic victories.
Those protesting so loudly that everyone should stand up for their beliefs are right, of course, but they should also consider the hard realities that many, many people face on a daily basis. Life is pretty complicated and choices are hard. I commend WU for their apology and their reversal of their decision. I will be supporting them and their advertisers because economically I can make a difference even if I can't be out on my own.
Great! ANOTHER blog post written in a small font, and posted as grey text. When will people realize that a blog post being easily readable over-rides any design concerns.
ReplyDeleteOr, if someone would be so kind to tell me what they said there?
Re: your apology
ReplyDeleteBravo, and thank you.
Thank you! I very much respect and appreciate your apology and effort to make things right.
ReplyDeleteI respect your apology, and hope it will be the first step to, not just tolerating same-sex marriage in your publication, but actually CELEBRATING it. Because the Love between spouses is ALWAYS a Beautiful Thing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your apology, as well as reading Ms. Almasy's letter. Moreover, thank you for having the courage to re-examine your decision and decide to change it. It is a rare thing in the world, especially in the current economic climate, to have a conscience and let it help you run your company.
ReplyDeleteI hope that many people will come to know your business and your magazine because of this, and that it will be a positive experience for all concerned. I have several friends, gay and straight, getting married this year, and will recommend your magazine to them.
It is never to late to make the right decision.
Best regards,
Traepischke Graves-Lalor
I am a small business owner facing a similar situation. I understand your initial concerns with running the ad. I am inspired by your change in direction. Your apology made me cry.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that those who criticize your apology as a sham or as not being enough have never had to balance the welfare of a company and its employees against one's beliefs. Your decision will affect not only yourselves but many others as well. It is no small decision.
I hope against hope that your decision will bring your magazine more success. I am 58 years old and long married. I do not know anyone who is getting married. I will nevertheless be buying a subscription to your magazine as a result of all this.
Thank you for having the courage to follow your heart. As Ms. Almasy said, someone has to lead. But as many of us know, it can be lonely at the front of the pack. You are an inspiration to others.
Best and with respect,
Natalie
Thank you for your sincere apology and your willingness to publish the ad. While your initial rejection was regrettable, in some ways, I think the way things unfolded has only garnered more attention, and therefore had a greater positive impact on all of those touched by this story. Doing the right thing is not always easy, and it is that much harder in the wake of a misstep and the pressure of running a business that caters to people of all backgrounds and beliefs. Thus, your turnaround is that much more courageous and meaningful. I admire your strong moral compass and I profoundly appreciate your willingness to stand up for your beliefs and for my rights. I think your apology really was from the heart, and please know that my thanks is from the bottom of mine.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Kevin
Haven't you heard that 3/5 of the American public supports gay marriage and more than 70 percent of those under 30? It's unclear who were afraid of offending.
ReplyDeleteDear Friends,
ReplyDeleteI am a middle-aged, married, heterosexual man in Oregon with no intentions of marrying again or taking part in wedding planning. That said, I have voted with my credit card in response to your choice as publishers. My order for your latest issue has been posted and it will go to a friend's music studio waiting room in Colorado. It will also arrive with a letter explaining why I sent it. It is a beautifully produced publication and I know it will be widely read and discussed.
I appreciate your citizenship and standing for for the rights of others. I have dear friends for whom you have stood up in kind support. I hope your choice proves to be good business.
With sincere appreciation,
Doug Webster
I personally think the photographer should rethink the photo they want to publish for the ad. If this is a professional photographer and this is your best photo from that wedding, then I honestly don't think I would want to see your ad in a magazine at all!
ReplyDeleteAs for the publisher, shame on you. I can see not wanting to publish the photo/ad because it doesn't look professional. But not to publish the ad because it's a gay marriage is another.
You deserve a second chance like anyone else and I would suggest that you do a spread on gay marriages!
This is one of the most heartfelt apologies I've read - I'm glad that you've decided to run the ad, and I really appreciate the open, generous way in which you've handled things after changing your minds.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful, mature, kind way to handle this! Situations like these, and the strength of character of those involved, give me so much hope for the world my children are growing up in. Thank you for being strong enough to publicly admit your failure and to correct that mistake.
ReplyDelete